More often than I would like to admit, I find myself in trouble from my words. Sometimes it is the truth, but did it really need to be said or could it have just lived happily in my head and never been presented to the world? Sometimes it is words spoken with the intent of tearing someone down or making them feel guilty. Sometimes it is words spoken from my feelings, not based on truth or fact, that get me into trouble.
The words we speak can be very powerful. Because of our words, wars are started, marriages are destroyed, hatred is formed, and friendships are lost. Because of our words, relationships are healed and made stronger, peace is brought to nations, and bonds of friendship grow stronger. It is simply a matter of choosing which words we speak and which words we choose to keep living happily in my head. I don’t really need to tell people everything that I am thinking and I don’t really want to know everything you are thinking.
When I am tired, I have learned… well, at least most of the time, to keep my mouth shut. That is when I tend to say things I regret and things that are most often not even true. When I am tired, I tend to be harder on myself and say negative things about me and sometimes those around me. Our ears here those things and we start to believe it. We hear those things and start to believe them, even if they were intended to be just for fun. Our minds have a difficult time filtering out the humor. The words are there, bouncing around inside my empty head and suddenly I start to think “what if they weren’t really kidding? What if they really think that about me? Maybe I am a “cottonheaded ninnymuggins.”
In the Bible, James writes a lot about being careful with our words. Be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19). Anyone who considers themselves religious and does not control their words deceives themselves (James 1:26). In James 3: 1-12, he writes about the power of the tongue. The tongue is such a small, seemingly insignificant part of the body, but with it, we speak words that have the power to create or destroy. There has been much research done and many books written about the power of our words, even the things we say about and to ourselves. The words we hear begin to program the way we think and the way we think begins to change the words we speak which begins to program the way we think…
When we talk bad about ourselves, we begin to believe those things. That path leads to depression and failure. So, are we supposed to lie? I was discussing this with one of my kids and that question was asked. The answer.. no. The negative things that we say to and about ourselves can also be considered a lie. That is our own perception of our life and is not the truth, either. We were created in the image of God. We are not “cottonheaded ninnymuggins”. We are human and we make mistakes. We are not perfect and never will be. When we speak words of affirmation, we speak life.
One of my mentors used to have me carry a 3×5 note card with some positive statements on it. He had me describe the person I wanted to be and write that on the card and read that card several times a day. Read it aloud to hear. There is a difference in reading it aloud and reading it to yourself. It stimulates a different part of the brain. As I continued to read these affirmations, it began to program me. I began to think differently, to believe the things I had written and began to behave differently.
I am not talking about a type of theology that says all we have to do is speak what we want and we will get it. I am talking about the things we believe about ourselves and behaviors we want to change. These will shape the life we lead and change our futures. James talks about how the rudder is a small part of the ship, but with it we steer large ships. The tongue is a small part of the body, but with it we can steer our lives.
What is coming out of our mouths? Maybe it isn’t even the spoken word. What are we writing and sharing on our favorite social media platform? The words we speak is a reflection of what is inside. We go to church on Sunday and praise God. What are we speaking the other Six and a half Days?
