People intrigue me. One of my favorite things to do is sit and observe people. It is an activity that can be very entertaining, often more than a good movie. I learn a lot from watching other people. I learn a lot about what to do and what not to do. Sitting in the mall is a great place to watch a range of age groups interacting with each other, but perhaps the most entertaining place to observe people is at a youth sporting event.
I like to watch a variety of kids activities. From the casual, non-competitive level to the highly competitive level. Parents amaze me. I have witnessed parents do some great things and I have witnessed some pretty embarrassing moments. Sometimes I think we forget that we are setting examples for our kids and those around us. If we are professing to be Christians, our behaviors at our kids activities should set an example and be a light to those around us. It is the life we live outside of Sunday morning that speaks the loudest. How we live and behave the other Six and a Half Days is what should set us apart.
I recently had the privilege of attending a youth football game. Observing the people around was very entertaining and a bit disturbing. I saw coaches yelling at the opposing team coaches; parents yelling at coaches, officials, and even other kids. I even saw a few kids yelling at other kids. This is a 12 & under recreational football league. Not competitive club football, but youth recreational football. As I watched all this wonderful free entertainment unfold in front of me, I couldn’t help but wonder about the influence and example these adults are setting for their kids. One dad was yelling at the refs. Now, I get being upset at the refs about a call, but this dad was more berating the refs and borderline abusive. The coach even came over and told him to stop. A little later in the game, his son was ejected for fighting. I later found out this was his 8th ejection in his football “career”. Again, this is a 12 and under league. Where do you think this kid learns his behavior?
This behavior is not limited to football. At one swim meet, two parents were arguing over which kid was the fastest, as if they couldn’t figure this out by looking at their times. The debate became so heated that the police were called in and they were escorted out. Really? What kind of example are you setting for your kids. I’ve even seen poor parent behavior at dance recitals.
I see parents yelling at the coaches, telling them how to coach. These parents have never played or coached the sport, but they have somehow become experts and know exactly what the coach needs to do. Of course their answer is generally “play my kid more” because, as everyone already knows, my kid is the best on the team. You know, the kid that is always the last one off the line when the ball is snapped or makes that awesome basketball pass… to the other team. You know that kid in the dance recital that just stands there on stage because they haven’t paid attention in dance class for the last 8 weeks and have no idea what they are supposed to be doing. Yup that kid. That’s my kid and they are the most awesome athlete ever and will be the next professional player… just as soon as they stop picking the flowers in left field.
As parents, it seems we have forgotten what our role is. Our role is to set examples of good behavior for our kids. When we do this, the discipline of these kids becomes very easy. But when we set the example of yelling, fighting, and generally doing whatever we want to do even though the sign you are standing next to clearly says not to do it… Oh, that’s right. You are the exception to the rule and your kid is the exception. Our kids see this and they model our behavior. Then we wonder why we can’t get our kids to behave. Why they are constantly doing what we have told them not to do. Hmm… let me think about that for a minute.
What it seems to come down to are two things… o.k, I think it is really just one thing. Selfishness. We want what we want are will not accept anything else. We want our kids to be the best. We want to prove to others that we are right and our way is best. We put ourselves before others and have completely lost the servant attitude that Jesus calls us to have.
A good name is to be more desired than great wealth,
Favor is better than silver and gold.
Proverbs 22:1
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:3-4
I have heard Sunday morning referred to as “game day”. But I believe Sunday is a time to be refreshed, renewed, and filled up. The witness we have to those around us comes from the other Six and a Half Days… especially when my kid is losing and the officials are completely one sided.
Hope you have a great week and your kid does become that amazing professional athlete you are hoping for.
Comment below and let me know your favorite places to observe people.
A lot of good thoughts. And, after this week, a lot for me to think about. I am pretty sure that I have a ways to go in finding out who I really am, compared to who I want to be and should be. Why, after all these years, do I suddenly realize I am apparently angry almost all the time? I see others at the sporting events who may need to ask themselves some of the questions I now am asking myself. It is easy to give in to the anger. Not so easy to deal with the reasons (or excuses?) for it.
I struggle with this, too. Especially in youth athletics. Many of the things I write about I am writing because I need to hear it. I just hope someone else finds it useful.