One of the things I struggle with is the balance between hard work and enjoying life. A good work ethic teaches us to overcome adversity, challenges us to grow, and builds character and confidence as we overcome obstacles to complete a difficult task. But often times that comes at the expense of having fun and creates stress. There is this mysterious “balance” in life that many of us spend our lives searching for. A phrase I hear often is achieving a good “work life balance”. What exactly is that?
My parents taught me the value of hard work. We had a large garden and many evenings I would come home from school and find myself in the garden with a shovel or hoe preparing the ground for the next round of future dinners or keeping the weeds from taking over what we had already planted. Many times I would create a story in my mind and pretend I was a firefighter creating a fire break to stop the spread of a massive wildfire, or I was a farmer in the old days, raising crops to sell on the market. I would create many different scenarios to make the work seem more like play, but ultimately, it was still work and there were many other things I’d rather be doing. But that work ethic has served me well through my life. The concept of seeing a task through to completion, no matter how hard it is and doing the best that I possibly can has been a character trait that helped me succeed in college, business, and even sports. There is great value in hard work and the “do whatever it takes” attitude that comes from a good work ethic.
But what about “fun”? Isn’t life supposed to be fun and enjoyable? “I don’t need this stress!” is a comment I hear often from people that have not been taught a good work ethic and seem to have a life filled with fun. They are often talking about their travels and adventures, their outings and parties, their movie nights and binge watching their favorite shows. They seem to have a life filled with fun and enjoyment while I seem to spend my life moving from project to project, constantly working on something because I want it to be better. To some, “work life balance” means making sure to take time away from work to enjoy family and relax. To others, it means interrupting the enjoyment of life to work the least amount possible to pay for the entertainment. Where is that elusive “balance” in life? Does it really exist?
As I work with my kids to try to instill in them a better work ethic, in the back of my mind, I wonder if what I am teaching them is true. There is an old song that comes to mind as I write this. The lyrics are “work your fingers to the bone and what do you get? Boney fingers.” Are the sacrifices we make, the things we give up for working hard and the successes we have worth it? As I talk to my daughter about working hard in school and she sits completely stressed out about getting through the next few weeks with all her school projects and other commitments, is it worth it?
Through the years, I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as “balance”. People who try to have balance seem to not accomplish very much and still don’t have enough time for “fun”. It seems to me there are “seasons”. There are times to work hard, study hard, plant and work the garden and accomplish the tasks at hand. Times to push through, even when we don’t want to. Yes, I do need this stress to help me know what I am capable of doing, grow my confidence, and, most importantly, to be accountable to others and do the things that I have committed to with excellence. And there are seasons for sitting on the beach, hiking in the mountains, playing with the kids, having a party, and enjoying a movie marathon. There are times to relax and have fun. Times to enjoy the crops from the garden and the rewards of our hard work.
It is tough to go through the times of work, especially when they run for an extended period of months and sometimes years. It is even harder, as a parent, to watch my teenagers struggle with the stress of being overwhelmed with their work load. I want so badly to take some of the workload off and tell them it’s o.k. to drop a class or skip out on a commitment. But I know that it is just a season, and on the other side of this season will be a great reward of confidence and personal growth that I will be stealing from them if I try to make their life easy and stress free. The work ethic they learn through these struggles will serve them in every area of their life.
I tend to be more of a worker and struggle with taking time to have fun. When I do take time off, I often find myself thinking about all the work that needs to be done and I have a hard time just relaxing. But, there is a never ending list of things that “need” to get done. Projects that lead to other projects. Even when I play, I tend to play hard and “play to win”. I sometimes forget that the point of playing is to have fun. I often find myself getting frustrated over a game which, obviously, is contrary to the goal of playing a game to have fun.
Well, I’m off to work on another project. After this, I’ll take some time to step away from work and have fun. Well, maybe.
