I don’t like confrontation. I have a hard enough time engaging with people that I get along with and I try to avoid people that I have a strained relationship with. I like being by myself and I have to work hard at being a “people person”. Whenever I have a problem with someone, I can just smile and get past it. If I know someone has a problem with me, I will generally try to avoid any meaningful interaction. The last thing I want to do is go to that person and try to resolve the issue. If I just leave it alone, it will eventually go away. To repair and strengthen our foundation, we must first repair our relationships.
Relationships are the most important thing in life. Unfortunately, it seems more relationships are built on a basis of mutual benefit. When one of us is not getting something out of the relationship, we move on to the next. Social media has made it easier to connect with people from all around the world and build a large network of friends. It’s great to be able to follow friends from high school and keep up with what they are doing. But it has also made it more difficult to build deep relationships. I have lots of friends on social media, but I don’t truly know any of them. Even the relationships in my own family have suffered. We communicate on a surface level, but we don’t have a deep relationship.
In Matthew 5: 19-20, Jesus takes the Old Testament Law of do not murder and goes a little deeper to do not hate. It is a matter of the heart. If I focus on building healthy relationships, I won’t need to worry about murder. He goes on to talk about the importance of being reconciled with those who have something against us. Perhaps it is someone I have wronged in the past or someone I have simply said a harsh word to. Maybe I didn’t even do anything intentionally. Someone has something against me, and I have no idea what it is. I just know they don’t like me for some reason. That pain and hatred can build day after day, and year after year. We go to church week after week, knowing that someone has something against us, and we have never tried to reconcile. Fixing that relationship is more important than checking off all the other boxes.
Jesus wants our relationship with him to be real. How can we love the Lord with all our heart if we can’t stand to be around our neighbor?
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Matthew 5:21-22
Leave the gift at the alter. Jesus does not want our stuff, he wants our heart. We cannot be a light to the world if they see the trail of broken relationships we leave behind us. We cannot reflect the love of Christ without healing our damaged relationships. Healing broken relationships is more important than we would like to think, and there needs to be a sense of urgency about it. Too often we know there is a problem, but it just never seems to get onto our to-do list and we never get around to reconciling the relationship. “I’ll get around to it one day.” But that day never seems to come.
One day, we will be standing before the judge and will have to give an account for our broken relationships. Whatever the issue is, as much as it depends on me, I need to settle the matter as quickly as possible.
“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” Matthew 25-26
Many of the issues we have with others are a result of a breakdown in communications. Sometimes it is a pride or selfishness issue. In every situation, it can be resolved through communication and prayer. Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and even our strained relationships can be healed.
