Whatever happened to average.
As a parent, I want my kids to excel at whatever they do. To work hard and be the top of the class, the top player on the team, the winner. But those spots are only reserved for a few. The “elite”. I listen to other parents talk about putting their kids in “elite” schools, paying for the extra private tutoring or coaching. Talking to their kids about working harder and fussing at the coach and the kid when they don’t succeed and win. But whatever happened to being average?
I like to win. I like to succeed. I think it’s good to work hard and be the best I can be. But what happens if my best isn’t “the” best? Have we set ourselves or our kids up for a lifelong struggle of being average. Not long ago, the expectation was to go to school, get a good job, and work until you retire. Volunteer in your community or church, have a family, and raise your kids to do the same. Somewhere all this has gone out the window. We don’t just have to go to school, we have to be the top 10% and go on for our Masters degree or higher. I’m not sure there really is such a thing as a good job and the average college graduate will work for 15 different companies before they retire (some statistics I’ve read give a much higher number). There are no more retirement plans, only what you can put together yourself. Volunteering is at an all time low, because everyone is so busy trying to be the best and running their kids to practices and tutoring so they can be the best. To help manage our families, we have delegated the raising of the kids to day cares, schools, camp counselors, and coaches. Spending time with the family has become an inconvenience toward reaching our goals. The more time I spend with my kids, the less time I have to do what I “need” to do.
Then we wonder what is wrong with our kids. Why don’t they listen to us? Why do they behave like they do? Ironically, in our push for our kids to be the best, we have created a generation that doesn’t know how to manage on their own and how to manage failure. When we do not achieve our goal, we feel we are a failure and we no longer know how to deal with that. Failure is a part of life and a huge part of learning and growing. Being average is a part of life. It seems kind of obvious, but something often overlooked, there are only a few people that can be in the top 10%. The other 90% are the average Americans. It is the other 90% that make this country work and holds it together. It is the “average” American that has filled our colleges. It is the “average” American that lives next door. It is the “average” American that I see and interact with every day as I go about my life. It is the “average” American that values hard work, family, and serving their community. When we decide to quit trying to “be the best” and start trying to “be the best me”, life gets simpler, we get happier, and we can focus more on the important things in life… like actually spending time with our kids, getting to know our neighbors, and helping those who need a little help.
I really like being average.
Excellent! 80% of the jobs available do not require a college degree, yet we push our kids to get a degree when they might be better off serving an apprenticeship or going to a trade school. There’s a lot to be said for our people in the service industries who work at doing their job the best they can in order to produce quality results. Success isn’t found in a career, it is only in our living our lives the best we can, accepting life’s challenges, and being content. “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:6
Thanks. i appreciate that verse, too. One of the things I see a lot, probably because where I am at with my kids, is parents pushing their kids to be the best at whatever sport they are doing. Yelling at the coaches because their kid didn’t get to play as much as they thought they should. Paying for extra private lessons for their 8 year old. The pressure these kids feel to perform is astounding. When they aren’t “the best” they feel defeated and ashamed. Lots of mental issues coming from this pressure. Jesus calls us to be our best, not “the” best. Thanks again, for your comment and reading my posts.
Yep!