It is easy for me to lose focus. I start off on a good path, but … oh, there’s a cookie. Soon I have become so distracted that I completely forget about what I started out doing. The trail of cookies has led me off in a different direction. It isn’t necessarily a bad direction and those cookies taste delightful, but it is still not the direction I intended to go.
The nice thing is, it is generally fairly easy to find the right path and get back on track. After all that’s what Google and Siri are for, right? If only life were really that simple.
I sometimes think that is exactly what has happened to our churches today. We have become so focused on getting people to church that we have forgotten what church is about. Sunday morning is not about reaching the lost. Yes, it does happen and there are unchurched people that will come because of a website, or an add, or some other program or marketing. But the task of reaching the unchurched falls on you and me the other Six and a Half Days. Sunday mornings are family time. That is a time to get filled up and re-energized to go out and serve and teach the rest of the week. At some point the task of “reaching the lost” has been relegated to the church staff and programs.
We moved to Shreveport, Louisiana, just before my sophomore year in high school. My dad took a position as a minister at a small church of around 25 people (counting us). Over then next 5 years, I watched my dad slowly build the church from 25 people to almost 120 people. That isn’t phenomenal growth, but it was good, steady growth. I was thinking through that this afternoon and marveled at the wisdom of my dad.
My dad did not change much at all about the way the church did things. He did not change the services or the programs. Five years later, we were doing pretty much the same thing as when we started. What my dad did was really very simple. He built relationships. He spent time almost every day building relationships with someone, both within the church and within the community. And, more than that, he helped build relationships between other families in the church. Out of these relationships came the growth of the church. It was just dad. He didn’t have a youth or children’s minister. He didn’t have a secretary. It was just him.
He spent many hours studying the Bible by himself and with other people. And the church began to grow. He was never concerned about numbers. After all, he started at less than 25. How much smaller can it get? In today’s consumer driven market, it is easy for the church to fall into the trap of thinking we have to have a specific program to reach people. I hear that from lots of people. “You can’t grow a church without a good ____”. You fill in the blank with your own idea. The reality is that we just need to get out of our house and our church buildings and build relationships with people. No matter how great the program, people come to and stay at a church (or a job or anything else) because of relationships.
Relationships are not built on Sunday morning. Maybe a little. But there is limited time to do much. That is really more of a point of contact than a time to build relationships. Relationships are built the other Six and a Half Days. That is what I started this blog about. Building a relationship with God. Building relationships with my family and those around me. And, of course, having fun, which in reality is building relationships. That is what I started this blog about, but … oh look, another cookie.
Have a great week exploring what God is doing in you and around you. Take some time this week to build a relationship. Spend some time talking with someone you have not talked to much. Meet a stranger at the store and just say “hi”. You never know where that will lead.
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Thanks!!
I woke up this morning thinking of your article and remembering one way Mom and Dad built relationships. They would invite two families home for a meal. They would help the families find a common connection. The two families would get to know each other and become friends. It seems to me that many congregations have members, but not many friends.
I know there are a lot of brilliant people out there with all kinds of degrees. But when it comes to hospitality, Mom and Dad wrote the book.
Great post.
You are right on point!
Sunday morning is family (church family) time. It is time for celebration of that common union with Christ. Yes, we can and should, welcome non-family members (friends, strangers who happen in, whoever happens to show up that is not a “family member”) (hospitable should always describe church folk). But entertaining strangers should not be the FOCUS of our planning and preparation for that time. Our focus needs to be on feeding and strengthening family and keeping the bond of unity so strong it is unassailable.
Ben