One of the hardest things for me as a father is knowing when to lead and when to step aside and get out of the way. Sometimes I think I am being helpful in guiding and directing and helping my kids reach their goals, but sometimes I think I am more in the way than being helpful. It is hard to know when the best way to lead is to simply get out of the way and watch them.
It is very difficult to sit and watch someone make a mistake, especially my own children. But sometimes being a leader and a father means that is exactly what I need to do. Those mistakes and failures are often better teachers than any teaching I could do. Sometimes, it isn’t even a mistake, it is just different than I would do it and it turns out to be better than my way. After all, I have never done the things they are trying to do, so what do I really know. I think too often I try to help and in reality just find myself getting in the way.
I want my kids to be better than me. I want them to learn from my mistakes and stand on my shoulders and reach higher goals than I have reached. I don’t want to see them fail. I don’t want to watch them struggle. But if they don’t struggle and experience failures, they won’t know how to handle these inevitable facts of life. For them to go farther than I have gone, they need to try and fail, learn and try again. It is just hard as a parent to watch them go through the pain of failure. But there is nothing better than watching them re-group and move on and find the success they are looking for.
As a parent, husband, and in every aspect of my life, I need to do better at getting out of the way. Leadership is much more than just telling people what they need to do. It is providing them the opportunities to succeed, fail, and move forward. Supporting them and loving them in the good and bad. Providing direction and getting out of the way and allow them to use the gifts God has given them. My way is just that, my way. It is not the only way and in many cases not even the best way. It is just the way that I know.
I often wonder how many times God looks at us and really wants to come fix things for us? As he allows us the freedom to fail, we are given the opportunity to become stronger. To learn to trust God more and trust ourselves less. To learn to trust others and allow them the freedom to live out the life God has called them to live, rather than the life I want them to live.
I look forward to seeing what God will do through my family as I learn to get out of their way and what he will do through me as I learn to get out of the way and allow God to work through me. I also look forward to hearing how God works in your life as you allow God to work in your life.
