Sometimes I think I complicate life too much. Whenever I find myself feeling stressed or frustrated, it is usually because of my own thinking more than any external driving factor. Most of the stress in our lives comes from our own expectations and our attempt to manage the expectations of those around us.
At some point our society has gotten into the mindset that it is the parents job to provide everything for the kids. When my daughter turned 16, most of her friends got cars for their birthday. Many of my friends were shocked when they asked me what kind of car I was getting her for her birthday. The questions came not as an “are you buying her a car”, rather it was just an assumed fact that I was buying her a car and they wanted to know what I was getting her. When I informed them that I was not buying my 16 year old a car, the responses generally ranged from surprise to completely stunned and I was thinking I might get a call from CPS because I wasn’t buying her a car. Then I listen to their conversations about having to work extra and their financial stress because they have all these car notes for their 2 teenagers. Their credit cards are maxed out, mostly because they are used to their parents buying everything for them. Now that they are on their own, they don’t understand the principle of “delayed gratification” or waiting.
Most of the time when I start feeling a little overwhelmed, it is more from my own goals and trying to schedule too much at the same time. I start thinking I am Superman and I can do multiple tasks at the same time. I start filling my calendar with projects and try to fit in work and writing, church and family time into all of that. To top it all off, I start feeling more overwhelmed because I haven’t had time to myself to sit and think or study. I start to get frustrated and then realize that most of the agenda items for the day are things that I put on my calendar, not someone else.
There are some external factors that drive a certain amount of stress in my life. But by far the majority of my stress is driven by my own desires to have more and be more than maybe I should. Weekends, like this one, I unplug, get some work done around the house with no agenda or goals. That time is much needed to get refocused on what I am really trying to accomplish. Life is not about a list of tasks that I have accomplished or piles of stuff I have accumulated. Life is really more about relationships.
Sometimes I need to remind myself to live life everyday full of faith, family, and fun. I hope my writings help you do the same.
Curtis
