The Decisions We Make

There are many things in my life that I wish were different.  I am not in life where I thought I would be.  But my life is where it is because of the decisions I have made over the years.  I would like to say that it is because of other people, other organizations, my parents, my boss, or the government.  But that is not the case.  I am where I am because of the decisions that I have made.

Telling myself “I could have been a great _____, but ____ kept me from doing it” or “I wasn’t born in the right family” is comforting to say and believe.  It takes the pressure and guilt off of me and places it on someone else.  It creates a feeling of being helpless, gives me an excuse to be angry, and gives me a little peace knowing that “it isn’t my fault.”  I am the person I am today because someone else made me this way.

I will say that there are circumstances and people in everyones life that shape us into who we are.  Some make us better, some bring us down.  And in a way, those people and circumstances have made me the person I am today.  The reality is that it is my response to those circumstances and people that have shaped my life.  Did I allow those people to tell me I can’t do something and quit, or did I use that for motivation and overcome?  Did I allow my circumstances to keep me from following a dream, or did I find a way to make it work?  Did I allow the cruelty of others to shut me down, or get me moving?

A friend of mine once told me “give me any excuse for why you can’t do something and I will find five people in your situation that did it anyway.  They found a way to make it work.”  Success in life is more mental than physical.  It is the strong desire to achieve and overcome that makes winners.  In a close game, the winner is most often the person that wants it more.  They are willing to do the little extra and find a way to win and to overcome.  But it is much easier to blame it on the ref, or the coach, or the other team not playing fair.  It is much easier to accept a loss if I tell myself it is not my fault.  That same friend would always tell me (and I have passed this on to my kids), “you can make excuses, or you can (get the job done, play piano, write a book, pass the test, meet your goals, etc.) but you can’t do both.”

I am the person that I am because of the decisions that I have made, not because of my circumstances or the actions of anyone else.  The nice thing about that… it empowers me to make a change.  If my life is formed by others, then I cannot change my situation.  If my life is formed by my decisions, then to change my life all I have to do is make different decisions.  I am no longer defeated, but I am empowered to become better.

For the Spirit God gave us
does not make us timid,
but gives us power, love,
and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

What is holding you back?  What do you want to do?  Who do you want to be?

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