Sometimes life just isn’t what you expected it to be. Right now, that is true for just about everybody. As I look back on my life, I had dreamed it would be different. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t what I had dreamed it would be. Sometimes I stop and wonder what happened? How did I get here?
Sometimes I start to go down the path of identifying other people who have changed my direction. My dad. A teacher. A coach. A best friend or pastor. A particular boss. A specific encounter with a random person. Maybe it’s a particular experience. I can identify a time when each one of these has changed the course of my life. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.
But then I stop to wonder what life would be like if I didn’t have those influences in my life. Was the change really for better or worse, or was it just different? People, circumstances, and experiences have a definite influence on our lives, but I am the one that decides if it is for better or worse. I decide if I allow them to tear me down or build me up. I decide if they tear my dreams down or if they motivate me to do more.
I am where I am because of the choices I have made. Too many times I have allowed people and events to change my dreams. And sometimes those dreams needed to be changed, or at least a little course correction. One of the challenges as a dad is working with my kids and their dreams and ambitions. I try to encourage them in their endeavors, but I know sometimes I maybe cross the line from encouraging to steering them in a direction they may not want to go.
When my kids were younger, I used to spend a lot of time with them, listening to them talk about what they wanted to do with their lives. It seems every week was a different dream. Now that they are teenagers, I have somehow become too busy to do that as much. This is the time in their lives that I need to be spending even more time with them. I promise you nobody believes in my kids abilities more than I do.
One of the best ways I can help them achieve their goals and dreams is to model that for them. To get back on track, refocus on my dreams, and get busy. When I spend time talking to my kids about what I used to do or what I wish I could do, it isn’t very motivating to them and does not set a good example for them. I am not being that mentor and example they need me to be as a parent.
I read a quote a while back that said most people die in their 40’s, but their body just doesn’t know it. What it was referring to is that at some point, we begin to give up on the dreams we had and stop striving to move on. Our dreams of a better life and making the world a better place turn into dreams of relaxing in front of the TV watching our favorite TV series. Dreams of success and accomplishment turn into dreams of getting a night out with friends. We begin to lose the dreams of our future and replace them with dreams of our kids futures.
Life isn’t over for us parents. It is time for me to refocus and live life every day. I have a bookmark with a quote from Walt Disney that says “The way to get started is to quit talking and start doing.” This is the man that, while he was in the hospital toward the end of his life, had his engineers put a drawing of Disney World on the ceiling over his bed so he could continue to develop and dream about his latest project. My kids have heard me talk… a lot… Now it is time to start doing. I’m ashamed to say they have heard a lot more talk and have seen very little doing. It is time to dream those dreams. Put the images of those dreams back on the refrigerator and our phones and keep the goals in front of me. Turn off the TV, the video games, and the social media and “quit talking and start doing.”
For me, the American flag is a reminder of the freedom we have. Not just as a nation, but the personal freedom we have to live our life and pursue those dreams. Let’s go have some fun.
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