Occasionally I get upset at my perfect kids. Once in a while, they get into a fight with each other. O.k. Almost daily, on some level, the tempers flair and words are exchanged. Then they settle down, get over it and go back to being best friends. If they are really best friends, why do they fight?
It is amazing how four kids born and raised by the same parents can be so different. Each one has their own personality, likes, dislikes, and interests. Most of the time they get along fine. But sometimes, they just start to get on each others nerves. They begin to grumble and complain. Usually it is because someone wants to do something and the others don’t. Sometimes it is just because one of them is being reeeeeally annoying. It comes down to “I’m not getting what I want”. Yes, even as teenagers, most of the arguments come back to the infant mindset of “give me what I want or I’m going to throw a fit”, just on a more mature level.
As adults, we have mastered that thought process. After all, what causes most of the arguments and fights among each other? It generally all goes back to the selfish mind set of I am not getting what I want. We are becoming a very divided people. If I don’t get what I want, I’m going to unfriend you and cut off communication with you. Unfortunately, that is even happening within families. So… how can we work things out if we cut off communication? How can we work things out if we are so focused on getting what we want that we can’t see there may be a better option?
As I continue reading through the Bible with the Matthew 6:33 filter (seek first the kingdom of God), it becomes more and more evident that most, if not all, of our human problems and struggles come back to one question. Who’s kingdom am I building? When I find myself being angry or frustrated, it is almost always because I am concerned more with building my own personal kingdom rather than the kingdom of God. I want a nice life. I want to be in charge. I want things to be done the way I think they should be done. I want my way. I want to build and protect my kingdom.
That’s when I find myself anxious and frustrated. It is physically and emotionally exhausting when I start getting focused on my kingdom. My stress level goes up and my tolerance for others gets short. When I begin to serve people and focus on building God’s kingdom, I am more at peace and my relationship with others, especially my family, improves. And, the funny thing, when I focus on God’s kingdom, everything in my “kingdom” seems to take care of itself and gets a little better. Seems like maybe that is another promise from God (Luke 6:38).
As you go through these next Six and a half days, think about who’s kingdom you are focused on. When you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated, take some time to think about why you are feeling this way. Are you building your kingdom, or God’s?
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
James 4: 1-3
